i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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