Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
