tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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