bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she told me i tasted like america
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
