how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
