He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize