I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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