How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
