all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize