but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
