Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
