dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
