and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
