five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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