He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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