how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
