God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
