His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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