Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
