my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
