Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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