And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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