Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
