Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
stop calling my apartment porn island.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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