I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
