wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize