we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
