you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
