so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
