This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
