Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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