so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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