i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
