he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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