Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
3pm strippers are depressing
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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