Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
