New low: just hacked my moms facebook
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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