No stitches, just platelets and will power
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
