arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize