is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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