I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
