You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
