well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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