Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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