Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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