Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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