last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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