some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
