Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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