Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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