So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
