you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
