At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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