I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize