You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
