Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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