I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
