tell your sister to shave her snatch
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
