We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
